There are many primal emotions that I understand very very well. I understand excitement, love, anger, anxiety, and so on. I understand getting so caught up in these emotions that sometimes we say or do things that we would regret, and the frustration that comes from trying to set things right. The past few months have been a roller coaster, and I’ve said and done things that I do regret, and was tempted to escalate matters but held off because I knew that there are certain things you can’t go back from.
I also understand the urge to lie to make certain things easier. The problem with lies is that they are seeds of more lies. The more you lie, the more you have to cover up the lies you’ve told, and form things around the surrounding lies to make it believable, and remember who you told what to and so on and so forth. Next thing you know, you are essentially living two lives. One being the result of reality, and one the result of your lies and juggling things can be a pain. Life is too short to over complicate things with lies. If you have people in your life that you have to lie in order to make the relationship of whatever type work, then it’s best to just let it die then to create the anxiety of the farce.
I have taken a fairly big step back in my areas the past few months, some were against my will and many were voluntary in order to get prospective. Something I’ve been trying to understand is the motivations of people who completely go out of their way to hurt people in a fairly personal way. I’m not talking about words of slander, I’m talking about very deep, personal attacks. Something that feels like watching your best friend stab you in the chest with a smile on their face. There is literally nothing to gain, other then the smug satisfaction of the end result. Is that worth it? Is going out of your way to kill any prospects of any further connection worth whatever temporary gratification that comes in the short term?
Personally, I’m glad I don’t understand the motives of such people.
