Growing up, I had a lot of anxiety issues, that all came to a head back in June 2007 after a couple of fairly tragic events. At some point I’ll probably go in deeper into things, and probably go into the latest situation, but for now lets stick with whats on my mind.
Growing up I had a lot of anger that was brought on by the way I was raised. I always kind of enjoyed the backstory of Batman when I was a teenager, and related to the feeling of loss of control. The overwhelming feeling of acting out with aggression. The very primal darkness that was there in Tim Burton’s Batman, or Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begin’s or even reading back through many of the earlier comics before things went down hill recently after Batman R.I.P. The outlet for Bruce Wayne was for him to fight injustice in a way that he felt he could. He took on 3 different person’s. One being the Bruce Wayne everyone saw, then Batman, and then the Bruce that those close to him saw. Two masks for one man, one hurt boy. But that isn’t getting past things. That isn’t growth. And I’m not there anymore. At least not as much as I was before. I am working to get past my remaining issues. I fully recognize them as mine, and would rather not live with something over me, let alone let something rule my life because frankly life is too short to do that.
Thats not to say that I don’t love the Batman Mythology, or the universe that Christopher Nolan created with his incarnation of Batman. In fact I’d say that his work has done a lot to legitimize comic book movies as serious, captivating work that the genre lacked since it began.
So last April I took a week off and went to the lake. I loaded up my iPad with just about every issue of Iron Man going back to the start of the Extremis series, through the most modern work of today, and I spent a week with my significant other at the time, and a Pina Colada, sitting out in the sun reading. I was fascinated by the character of Tony Stark/Iron Man. I found myself finding more in common with Tony now, then I currently do with Bruce Wayne. Tony doesn’t hide personas in the same way Bruce does. Tony’s defensive measures actually mirror mine a lot more closely, using sarcasm and charm to keep people at a certain emotional distance, and only letting those he truly trusts in. Those he lets in, he trusts with his life, and would do anything for. Beyond that, there are varying degrees of trust, but the defenses are always up. The entrepreneurial spirit is there, and his actions aren’t rooted in emotional trauma. Rather his place is out of necessity, and choice.
